Tales from the Underground: Episode 3 “The Dreaded LayDays…Well…Sort of…”

One by one we awaken in the dark…battle weary and mentally drained from all the tunnel time the afternoon before. We head straight back to the scene of yesterdays crime…typical behavior of a mutinous group of scurvvy dawgs. Its smaller and 2 boats are already there. After last night…they can have it. We head over to another island (theres no shortage of islands and atolls to break up the swell and accommodate the winds round’ these parts), this island playing host to a shallow left hander on one side and a down the line right hander. The right is a bit onshore and fast yet on the right board super fun. The left is smaller, hollower, and perfectly groomed by the light offshores. The crew casually splits and has a go on each. TImmy, the culinary wizard, takes a moment between serving up 5-star feeds to show the boys a thing or two at the left on his booger. I opt to take my 6’6″ 80s Tom Curren Black Beauty inspired “Dark Beauty” out to the right to get some time on it before its truly needed. It’s a unique craft that excels in bigger down-the-line type waves, with quite a bit more meat than a modern concaved shortie and a full length vee bottom and hard edge…the thing is a cadillac that glides into bombs with ease and melts into the wave face all while effortlessly cruising at warp speed. All in all…the swell is a bit slow and everyone is taking advantage of just cruising before the next round of swell and its actually quite neccesary because our wave count from the first few days has taken its toll. Cliff and Nader took off to the “other” left up the way and got a few before we reconvened to pull anchor and motor off a few clicks up the way to another setup.
Our destination is epic setup at the edge of the open ocean. We moor up in a deep channel carved into a two sided reef pass. Theres an deep water outside left thats a little overhead but can get very menacing. When it starts pushing 2x overhead it turns into a full on ledge keg that may as well be Teahupoo to us mortal Florida boys. Theres also two inside waves that, though shallow as can be, are perfect little skateparks. Since the premier wave isn’t doing its thing…the crew opts to have a little fun on the inside. We trade off little funpark style rights that would attract everybody and their mother to come out of the woodwork if this were South Florida but luckily for us…the only pests are each other and the random horsefly. We all get our fill and donate some blood to the reef before we head in for another Bintang fuel cruise into the Mentawais sunset followed by Aussie barbie on the top deck. It’s a hard life…
We awaken the next morning to my favorite sound…clunk…clunk…clunk…clunk. The soothing sound of a heavy duty anchor at 5am…we’d have it no other way. We return to our edge of the earth oasis and the swell is still down but plenty fun by our standards. A riphouse morning sesh goes down at the skatepark followed by a late morning chill/decompress. Some take this time to steer clear of the searing Indo sun as theres better ways to slow cook meat while others hop the tin boat and go for a fish. The boys return with two GTs and that puts our fish count at 3 including a Wahoo yesterday. We’re gonna have to do better than that! Says me from the lounge. With a few hours to go til dark we hit the outside left and snag a few. Everybody gets a good one or too and Nader got the best beating he’s had since his Puerto Escondido days as a wee lad. Another successful day or surfing, fishing, and livin’ is celebrated as we motor off into the sunset. Will more swell show? Will the fun and games come to end? Will will we be forced to slay behemoth and beast alike? Find out soon on NightmareShapes presents Tales from the Underground…
…and if it doesn’t happen soon…just wait longer…

Tales from the Underground Episode 2: “Into the Belly of the Beast”

Nobody can sleep. Jetlag gets the best of all as one by one our heros convene in the lounge surprised yet finding solace in the fact that everybody’s clocks are farked. “I’ve been staring at the ceiling since 2am” is a comon theme amongst all. Countless coffees and wisecracks later…light begins to creep from the horizon. Our location becomes clearly apparent to the Indo vets onboard. A notorious left that breaks over a very shallow coral shelf which happens to be pushed up against the shoreline of a small island. When a set comes through the water draws off the shelf almost creates what looks like a small waterfall in front of the takeoff. Basically the most beautiful setup imaginable until you take the wrong wave and get pushed up against the shoreline which may as well be made of 10,000 razorblades.
The tide was dropping and the wave was quite manageable…for what it is. Head high plus on the sets and quite fun really. The crew posted up and the barrels were a plenty. Every pirate got their fair share of the booty. Cliff and Nader once again claimed most hours in the water as the geriatric elderly surf nazis have truly aged like a fine wine, choosing only the choice sets and spending more time in the lineup than most people go to work for the day. It was a cruisey, fun morning…and then the tide turned…
Sitting in the lounge resting and getting inspiration quotes from Kenny Powers on the tele, one couldnt help but notice out the porthole…the surf started to look good…really good. Part of the crew headed back out in the afternoon. After seeing a few good ones the rest of the crew joined. It was bigger than it looked. 2x overhead were on the regular and the waterfall draw off the shelf was in full effect. It was on and the only people out were us. A massive one would come in and the hootin and hollerin was in full effect. If you were in the spot you had no choice. There were plenty of floggins’ and beatins’ handed out as well. The pressure would build everytime somebody made an epic one. With the 2 wave set of the day going to Nader and the Hearth. Nader got the first one and Hearth the second with Captain Martin calling the Hearth’s a 10. Not being one that likes being out done, I went on the next biggest one that came through only to get obliterated. There was no shortage of carnage and glory. Exactly what we came for.
The Darkhorse Award of the day goes to Xavier on the bodyboard. The guy probably made 50+ tubes. It was ridiculous. One after the other. Keg after keg until he took a behemoth, which he rode through the end section and made, but ended up getting washed onto the island and lets just say, he had to enjoy a long walk on the beach complete with a bloody ass and a green horsefly escort.
As the sun set we were spent. Bintangs on the bow and smiles you couldnt chizzle off our faces. Day 2 success celebrated with another epic meal by Timmy (who got his fair share of tunnel time as well) followed by a “constructive criticism”, peanut gallery, bintang inspired slideshow of the days endeavors. Hundreds of photos and laughs later we were spent from one of the best days surfing any of us have had…but we couldnt help but wonder how we got so lucky?…

*Chris came out and made a confession to the crew, obviously after enough “truth serum”…The first night in Indonesia before we boarded our vessel…during what I like to call “The Witching Hour” which is late at night, under the influence, when things seem to be a “good idea”…he had wandered off into the streets of Padang and returned with some sorta Indo jewels and a statue of a little man. A talisman, or idol you may say. The shaman who sold it to him said it would bring “luck” to those who bear it. Long story short… the idol now resides at the center of the table in the lounge. Whether its a good idea or not we have named him Jobu and fill his cup with Rum in order to secure more perfect surf. But the indos have warned us…”It’s very bad to drink Jobu’s rum…It’s very Bad”…

Will our heros continue to score? Will they face their inner demons and slay more behemoths? Will some dumbass drink the wooden statues rum and compromise the safety of our party? Will KB ever grow up and write like a normal human being? Find out next time on NightmareShapes presents “Tales from the Underground”…

Tales from the Underground: Episode 1 “Time Travel and the Un-Anticipated Change in Reality”

Its that time of year again and South Florida’s flattest season is upon us. The time has come to GTF outta here. Usually “normal” people would prepare for a trip halfway around the world far in advance, 6months to a year of anxiety and anticipation normally preceding it. This group if far from “normal”. With Pompano natives and seasoned travelers Cliff Maddock and Nader Taha leading the last minute charge of insanity, it would be only be safe to assume that such endeavors would attract like-minded “characters”. So with only a few weeks notice, a motley crew of pirates consisting of Andre “The Giant” Dreyfuss Esquire, male model Robert “The Hearth-Rob” Martin, Christopher “The Bandageman” Mckinley, and of coarse the all-knowing dark deity and master of the greatest surfboard brand known to the world of man, NightmareShapes, me…Kane Barrie…have indeed come together to embark on another quest to seek out some world class surf.
The beauty of such short notice is that theres no time to get anxious because you suddenly become so busy trying to get all your stuff together before taking off for two weeks that the deadline almost comes too soon. Hence you are never plagued with this “I cant wait!!!” hooplah. For instance in my own experience…38 surfboards in 4weeks, multiple all-nighters, and far too delirious to think about the prize at the end of the tunnel means: you’re on that plane before you know it and welcome 30+hrs of sitting down and doing nothing…
Miami, Qatar, Malaysia, Indonesia, jetlag, time travel, airports, hotels, hangovers, and a diverse taste of multiple cultures bring us to the port where the Indies Trader 3 makes birth. Here we are joined by the rest of our crew: Xavier Bastian and Jesus Morgando…two legends and close friends from Australia, as well as Lensman extraodinaire David Burden, The Culinary Wizard Tim Everingham, our fearless leader Capt. Martin Daly, and the rest of the Indies Trader Crew.
We motor off into the vortex that is the Mentawais Islands. With Capt Martin steering us well off the beaten path we set out to do what we are destined to do the next 2 weeks: Rape, Pillage, and Plunder the saltwater playground where nothing else matter besides feeding our selfish inner-childlike thirst for good surf…because for the next two weeks that is the only purpose of our existence…
The first morning we are greeted with a magical little right hander that wraps around an sandy atoll in the middle of the ocean…some would even say “Snapper Rocks, Australia in a fish tank with only you and your friends”…I would say…pretty accurate description and the perfect warmup to shake off the months surfing 1-2ft powerchop…All the boys were on it and getting their fill. After hours of destroying ourselves we motored off to a left to appease the goofy footers to close out the day. Capping it off with a few sunset Bintangs and an insane Spanish Mackeral Curry feed by Tim, we pretty much were all around winning on Day 1…and with a new swell on the way things only seem to be on the up…Will our heros succeed in their quest? Will they get completely kegged off their faces? Or will they end up being grated into fishfood when the swell switch turns on? Find out over the next 2 weeks on NightmareShapes presents “Tales from the Underground”